Pleasure on a plate: step away or get a room

Is there a word for oft-repeated, widely accepted nonsense? Bullshit with an agent?

Do you ever read fat-loss or healthy eating advice that says to only eat when you are truly hungry and to eat slowly “savoring” every bite? I’m sure I can’t be the only person who finds this advice to be bizarre.

First, where in fact is the “truly hungry” line? I’ve known people to whine about starving when they haven’t eaten in four hours. I’ve known people who go days without eating and still say they’re not hungry. There are two basic definitions of hunger: a) A strong desire or need for food and b) The discomfort, weakness, or pain caused by a prolonged lack of food. I would say that the whiner’s hunger definition is “a” and the faster’s definition is “b.” So which definition do the “eat only when hungry” advisors refer to? Maybe something in between? I’ve heard some people say you’re hungry when your stomach growls. Well, I must have one confused stomach – it’s been known to growl just after eating and yet it doesn’t growl when I’m on the verge of fainting from lack of food. Maybe it just surrendered. As far as I’m concerned if you’re not slightly weak or dizzy you’re not really hungry. Just sayin’.

Now about that savor bit.

I find that while a lot of healthy food tastes good it’s not delicious. Delicious is an adjective I normally reserve for vice foods: Pan pizza with maximum cheese or fudgy hot brownies or (hell yea) cookie dough. If I’m eating healthy food (which is the norm) I really just want to get it over with so therefore I eat too fast. It’s not exactly entertaining. If I’m eating unhealthy delicious food (which usually is accompanied by a large side-order of guilt and a strong premonition of a larger ass in the a.m.) then that might be the moment to “savor every bite.” However, unless you live alone, if you fart around with your savor moments you’ll be out of luck if you want more. You finally had something worth savoring and… it’s gone. Sucka! Instinctively, we eat faster when food is delicious so we’ll get more – yea, it’s greed, it’s primal, it’s why wolves fight over the kill but cows don’t fight over pasture – it’s nosh but it ain’t going anywhere.

And doesn’t it seem that it’s always the vice food that seduces you to overeat? Most people aren’t tempted to go back and fight over a third plate of broccoli. It’s the grains, white potatoes, and sugars that beckon you back for more. Brownies don’t last 12 hours in a house with a family. The only way to avoid overeating is to not buy the foods that make you want to overeat.

I think the advice in question reflects our sick relationship with food. You need to show it who’s boss. Sounds silly, I know, but you should always be able to turn down food. If you ever go 40 days without food then maybe you will become acquainted with real hunger. It’s a revelation in itself and puts food in perspective.