Prompt and proctology are really good friends

People distract themselves from the genuine priorities in life by industriously making mountains out of mole hills. While this is a ubiquitous characteristic of human behavior (pedicure, anyone?) the mainstream reverence for punctuality is one excellent example. Many people read into punctuality (or lack thereof) everything but what it actually is: “arriving exactly at the time appointed.” That’s all it is. It’s not respect, or commitment, or loyalty, or intelligence, or quality, or deadlines. People say those things because they’ve had it beaten into their heads by the establishment -- regurgitating a non-thought.

Punctuality is important only when someone else is relying on you in order to do what they need to do. Reasonable examples are appointed meetings, opening a business to customers, medical appointments, airline employees, etc. If others can just as easily carry on without your prompt arrival then punctuality is irrelevant and only becomes yet another method of control.

We got along quite productively for centuries without a clock tracking the minutes in the day. I think our micromanaging was born in the Industrial Revolution. News Flash: we don’t work that way anymore. If you’re watching the clock (especially if you’re looking for someone else to arrive) you’re wasting time. Maybe you should actually focus on your own work.

Here’s a random quote from the Internet showing how many people perceive being late and punctuality: “If you have problems being on time, you'll already feel bad about appearing sloppy, lazy, unprofessional, selfish or undisciplined due to poor time-keeping. Being punctual shows respect and consideration for others. Punctuality also shows you have self-discipline and organizational ability.” Wow. Sounds like a professional analysis, huh? Sounds like a load or horse shit to me. Let’s take a look-see and bring our brains this time, shall we?

Being late does not mean you are sloppy. You might be an anal-retentive cross-the-t-dot-the-i person who wanted everything to be just so before you left home. Pathetic, yes. Sloppy, no.

Being late does not mean you are lazy. You might want to have gotten in that full five-mile-run before heading to work.

Being late does not mean you are unprofessional. That depends on your profession. I’ve found many “professionals” to be highly unprofessional even with the habit of punctuality.

Being late does not mean you are selfish. Maybe you were helping your kid find a misplaced algebra book before school. Or maybe you were helping your neighbor with a flat tire.

Being late does not mean you are undisciplined. Maybe you were late because you were studying for college finals while holding down a full-time job and you are battling exhaustion and adrenal burnout.

Being punctual does not mean you are organized. I’ve known brilliant, hard-working people who are extremely unorganized (to the point of hoarding) and yet are predictably punctual.

And the granddaddy of them all: Being punctual (when others are not delayed by your absence) has nothing to do with respect. Depending on the situation, it may have something to do with fear. Not the same thing. But it’s the idea of respect that the business world connects most often with punctuality.

Ironically, many business people who revere punctuality would actually prefer you to be early. Which, of course, is not punctual… it’s early. It’s a symptom of needing a life outside of work. (I personally find it infuriating when someone arrives to an appointment early. I’ve got things to do and you weren’t penciled into that slot. You’re trespassing.) They say it boils down to money – that businesses lose money when employees are late. (If that’s true, then they conversely earn more money if you are early but they don’t mention that and certainly don’t pass it on to you. Silly peon.) If the employee is paid hourly that is not true. If an hourly employee is 10 minutes late then they don’t get paid for those 10 minutes. Big honking deal. Of course, they should stay 10 minutes late or cut into lunch. Oh yea, but they want you to do that anyway. A business has no right to bitch about you being 10 minutes late unless you get to bitch about having to stay 10 minutes late which of course is frowned upon. The idea that employers should be allowed to freely encroach on the rest of your scheduled life is archaic as is the idea of loyalty. We all know that companies are not loyal to employees. We’ve all seen that employees are disposable. Therefore, employees do not owe loyalty to their employers (beyond what is ethical) and they, too, are disposable.

If you are on salary as long as you are working your agreed-upon number of hours what difference does it make if you are five minutes late in the morning? Haven’t we all worked through lunches, stayed late into the night, answered trouble-shooting phone calls in the middle of the night, worked weekends when necessary? Anyone writing business articles about that crossing the business-etiquette line of respect? I haven’t seen one. But again, your time is disposable.

The ability to arrive on time also has nothing to do with meeting a deadline. Any self-employed artist/writer can tell you that. Doing a high-quality job that meets deadline doesn’t naturally translate into early riser, clock watcher behavior.

On a related note you often hear businesses bitch about losing money because of coffee-breaks or idle chit chat or whatever in the morning. This may truly be a problem if taken to excess but they also don’t seem to consider the employment-related work most people do when not on the job such as research, study, or making business-related contacts. Many people take work home. Our lives are not so clearly or easily compartmentalized. So a profitable employer-employee relationship is really a give-and-take of mutual respect and trust unless you have complete losers working for you. In that case, it’s your fault for hiring them. Click “undo” and figure out how to do a revealing interview. Here’s a snippet on what not to do: I read a book written by some hiring “expert” who wrote (I paraphrase) ‘if you’re not 15 minutes early for an interview then you’re late.’ That dude needs a remedial math course pronto regarding the number line and integers. Here’s the positive to his idiot negative thinking: ‘if I’m 10 minutes late and you’re 15 minutes late then I’m early.’ Brilliant. It should be on a pre-interview test for businesses who value independent and clever employees.